Week 2 Recap

Standings

Two weeks in and there is a clear separation at the top and (sigh) at the bottom. Ryan and Shannon? are 2-0. There’s a big logjam at 1-1…and then there is Chris and Julian sitting at 0-2.

Almost all the matchups were good - AGAIN. We seem to have avoided the annual NFL “figure it out as we go” scoring drought. “Almost” and “We” are pretty load-bearing here because there’s clearly some teams and players who ARE NOT living up to expectations. I’m looking at you Los Angeles Chargers who seem to be GREAT at football but terrible for fantasy.

There was a CLEAR standout performance this week. Grow a Pair and Go for 2 bounced back from some Week 1 mismanagement to take the W over Team Ship Show. Literally every one of her players went BOOM, here’s live footage of Megan during the Lions game.

To her credit, Blythe was working the waivers like a suburban housewife on BuyNothing but still came away with an Ikea Hemnes performance. Oh, and Megan’s QB is now out for most of the year…but with that level of production she could roster anyone and be fine.

On the matchup front, it was mostly chalk. Ryan and Erik had a decent battle, but somehow the Colts are good again and JT ran away with it. This was a double-whammy for Erik since his Defense were on the receiving end of that bludgeoning AND Erik started the only Denver player to have 0 production.

Morgan and Samantha were also pretty evenly matched. This one seesawed quite a bit but literally came down to kickers. Brandon Aubrey is basically a FLEX player each week.

But the REAL matchup was between JB and Jon. For a minute, this one looked like the first dumpster fire of the season. Every performance was…just…fine. Jon’s team sucked a little bit less. Yet again, it was the Ravens who were the problem - how do you score 41 real life points and your all-world RB goes 11 carries for 23 yards?

Ryan - look what your team did to little Biz. LOOK

Your Harbaugh is now on Worst Harbaugh watch.

Let’s talk about Benches!

After last week’s recap, I had two requests to Bench of the Week. Ask and you shall receive.

Not just because you asked (well maybe a little), JON is Bench of the Week.

In week 1 Rome, Keenan Allen, Bill, and Justin Fields on the bench. That’s like packing delicious leftovers and then choosing the boring office sandwich. It’s not like you owe your early round picks money or something. And then you did it again in Week 2!

4.5 park benches with a forgotten lunch.

As for Week 2. I have nothing to say about these benches. There were lots of points, which probably would have made the matchups FEEL better, but not a single matchup would have changed because you put a bench player in.

To the league I award: 5 benches of despair

And for the final new addition to the recap: 99 Points on the Wall

This is a new section to commemorate truly spectacular roster fails. All it takes is scoring less than a 100 points!

This week we celebrate three teams:

Mildly Exciting Whites

There is quite literally nothing exciting about this team. Starters underperformed, your QB got the most annoying injury ever, and your best players are two rookies nobody has ever heard of. At this point, the team name should be Airplane Chardonnay because nobody likes you.

Seattle Suckmyhawks

The Eagles, Chargers, and Patriots tricked you into thinking you made good roster choices. But then again, this is the second week in a row. A wise man once said There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again. - yeah, that’s your roster.

JBeeZyn

Eh, not your fault - you can blame Ryan for this one.

Manager Stats

Schedule Notes

Here’s what you can expect with the Marquee matchups this week

Thursday: Miami vs Buffalo. One way or another, the Bills are scoring A LOT of points. Dolphins, less so.

Sunday: Kansas City vs New York Giants. Russ, Mahomes, probably a TSwizz sighting. The Giants are on a roll (points-wise) and the Chiefs got something to prove. I predict POINTS.

Monday: Detroit vs Baltimore. ALL THE POINTS.