Week 2 Recap
Standings
Some of you probably want to forget this week (for various reasons), but it had to be done.
Them’s the rules.
Earth
This was RB week. Points on the ground were the name of the game. But one performance stood out above all the rest.
Mr. Steinfeld went for 5 TDs, two on the ground and was basically not of this planet on Thursday Night Football. Like any good superhero, he gave Morgan a beacon of hope…until games kicked off on Sunday and her team faceplanted like some recent nameless bird teams.
More on that later
Across the league, it Run the Damn Ball Day
- Ryan’s top 3 players of the week - all on the ground. He may have gotten the W but I heard the Saints’ second-line for Baltimore fans is still going.
- Shannon Top 3, also RB. She took the L from Blythe, but that’s mainly because Jahmyr Gibbs is also not human and Brock Purdy’s Ariat clothing are now Phiten-infused to ward off the bad substation vibes, reduce inflammation, and make him seem like less of a square. That or maybe peptides?
Wind
There was PLENTY of points through the air too. In this week’s edition of Fantasy Football or Pokemon, Tuesday rolled a Cowboy stack of CeeDee and Dak against JB’s JSN + Waddle combo. Turned out to be super effective.
Brutal - Tuesday gave Biz just enough hope to think we might pull it off and then said…“NAH”.
That leads us to Erik vs Megan. Trey McBride did ok. Olave did better. Puka pulled something. Projected close, did not finish that way.
I left a few big names off because I was saving them for the next section.
Fire
You may think this would be about benches. You would be incorrect. This week, we had two 🔥 matchups.
First, Morgan vs Julian. As I mentioned, Super Josh got rolling on Thursday. Julian threw down: Hampton, Slim Reaper, and the Sun God joined forces with Aaron Jones to project in the 140s before the afternoon slot. And then Jaxson Dart forgot his Phiten neckware and left his kneecap in LA. Even then, it still looked like he was on the fast track to the W.
But remember - Puka pulled something, and those balls had to go somewhere. Where did those points end up? Davante Adams. Who has Adams? Morgan.
EVEN THEN it didn’t look like she was going to pull it off. I texted Morgan toward the end of the 3rd quarter that she needed only one more catch to seal it and and her response was no fing way!. I can only assume she was bringing out the fall-themed Fiestaware at that point instead of watching the game.
She got the catch and then the W.
And this brings us to my favorite matchup of the week. This one was so good (unless you were Jon), it deserved some special AI treatment.
Jon vs Samantha. This one went until the last second of Sunday Night Football. Samantha’s squad, led by CMC, suffered an early setback when Jayden Daniels dislocated his elbow (gross). The rest of her team wasn’t much to write home about. Meanwhile, Jon put his trust in Justin Herbert, forgetting that the Chargers are only good in real football and that we’re dealing with a modern day Jessica Simpson situation in LA. Chase + Pickens + Judkins were also fine, but when Caleb Williams got hurt it sent Jon’s FLEX to the dumpster.
Then SNF rolls along - Jon has K9 and Samantha has Rashee Rice. This game goes to overtime. Samantha is ahead, but all the points are going to K9. He catches a ball, gets tackled and the Chiefs go FG FTW.
Jon loses by .06 points. 1 yard. That is tied for the second smallest margin of victory in league history behind Erik v Ryan in 2015 and tied with JB v Samantha in 2021. If Herbert throws two more yards, Jon starts Wan’Dale Robinson instead of Coleston Loveland, or K9 literally falls forward, he wins.
That’s a bad beat.